oneistheloneliestnbr's Blog


Send a msg to Sunday's date to see if there's any interest - haven't heard back yet.

Nothing else much going on - going to try rock climbing tomorrow (first time since I hurt my hand) so we'll see how that goes.


Went to talk to some people from a company I used to work for, to see about maybe working for them again. That could be interesting - I think I'd like it better than what I'm doing now, but of course you never really know.

Heard back from Saturday night's date, and she says I'm not her type. Fair enough, and now I'm waffling on whether to ask her if there's anything I said or did (or didn't say/do) or whatever  - but last time I asked someone that, I didn't like the answers, so not sure if I really want to ask.

Went to yet another meetup (I love meetup!) about learning a foreign language - the full class is 2 nights a week, 2 hours each night, for 12 weeks. Not sure if I've got the persistence for that, but we'll see how it goes.


Met a new girl for a walk by the river - we talked, she's nice, but I doubt there's anything there. At least it was cheap!

Went to an interesting meetup on "The 5 Love Languages":
 - Touch
 - Quality Time
 - Acts of Service
 - Gifts
 - Words of Acknowledgement
I took their little quiz before the meetup, and I'm tied for Touch and Quality Time, with the other 3 WAY down on the list. No surprise there!

I send a text to the girl I'd broken up with a couple of weeks ago - content was unimportant, but the message was "if you're reconsidering your position but not sure how to say it or how I'll react, here's an opening". No response, so I guess that's that.

On the (VERY) plus side, I texted the girl from Friday to see if she'd like to get together. She suggested another live band meetup next weekend, so I take that as a very positive sign. I'm looking forward to holding her close and swaying with the music again. (see above: Touch is one of my "Love Languages").


I met my kids for lunch today, and chatted for an hour or so.  Good conversation - or at least as good as can be expected between people who are (sadly) nearly strangers.  I mentioned that I was dating, and they seemed very surprised.  But at least that's out of the way.

Tonight's date went fairly well - lots of good conversation, no awkward pauses. She's reasonably attractive, though something about her mannerisms might get old after a while.  Still, she would be fun to hang out with, so I'm hoping there will be a date #2.  The date was fairly short, and as I was driving home it occurred to me that I screwed up math on the tip and left a crummy tip - she may very well have seen it on the charge receipt, and I hope that wasn't what caused the date to end so quickly. Story of my life, I'm afraid.....

Friday (late post)

I went to see a live band Friday night (just a small-time cover band in a bar) and I did run into the girl I was hoping to see but she was running late and she and her friend already had a couple of guys tagging along with them by the time she found me.  Luckily I had already started talking to another girl, someone I'd wanted to talk to at the karaoke thing last week but just hadn't had a chance to.  She's actually very nice (and skinny as a rail, and much better looking than her picture) and we spent most of the evening together. You couldn't hear the band from where our table was, so we wandered over closer to the stage and stood there for a while. I spent most of the time standing behind/beside her, and had my hands on her shoulders part of the time and her hips part of the time. That was actually a nice feeling - holding her hips, slightly swaying in sync to the music, with gentle body contact (not pulling her up against me, but I could feel her ass on my crotch and I'm sure she could as well).  I didn't get a lot of feedback as to how she felt about this. It felt a little forward to me, given that we'd only know each other an hour or so, but apparently I'm too reserved - so I decided to just go for it.  She didn't seem inclined to want to actually dance - which is good, because I don't dance.  At the end of the night I got her phone number, so now I have to decide when/how to call/text her.

Also ran into someone I've seen around the office (and thought was cute) but didn't actually know, and we chatted for a couple of minutes. She was hanging with a guy who'd been alone earlier in the evening, so obviously she's not attached to him or anyone else, and she's the sort that goes to bars and is interested in meeting people.  I'll definitely have to talk to her a little more next time I see her in the hall at work.


Got my annual review at work today. My boss (who is a good friend I've know for 15+ years) tells me I'm "coasting"... and it's true. With everything else going on in my life, work seems like a low priority. I guess some people throw themselves into their work, but this job (this company, actually) doesn't lend itself well to that, and I'm burned out on doing the same thing for 30+ years anyway. I feel like I've already wasted too much of my life that way, and I don't really want to waste any more of it than necessary. As Mario teaches: Use your coins to get a life, but never use your life to get coins. Still, the fact is that I'll never advance in the company (as if I care) or in salary (ok, that I care about) if I don't step it up a notch or three. I just need to decide what I want to be when I grow up.

I had a couple of new conversations on the dating sites that have just suddenly gone cold - I haven't heard back from them at all. Not sure what's up with that - maybe they're just busy.

I donated blood today, so I get to feel all smug and superior about that. Plus you get free cookies, though they're not as good as they used to be. 

Trying to get together with my kids for lunch or something this weekend.  I feel bad that I haven't gotten together with them more often, but it occurred to me today that phones work both ways - they can call me, too. So as bad as I've been about staying in touch, they've been worse.  I might try to find some subtle way to mention that.


Got a new TV today - 55" LG LED (3D) for $699 at costco. Now I just need to get cable (the guy's coming on Sunday) and/or a DVD player (from Amazon, to be delivered next week). Then I can vegetate with the best of them!

Got an interesting-seeming conversation going on POF with someone who happens to be a therapist (it would be cool if we end up dating - I could tell people I'm seeing a shrink ;-) but according to google she works WAY far away, so not sure how practical this might be. Still, she's kinda cute, at least according to her pics (but I've learned you can't always trust those).

And got another out-of-the-blue message from someone else on POF, but she's only so-so in looks. Still, can't hurt to follow up on it.


Sunday's date didn't think there was much chemistry, and I'm afraid I have to agree with her.  I just wish I knew what the hell chemistry was - I guess it's one of those "you know it when you see it" kinds of things.

Another day, another cancelled date. She says she's sick, and it could very well be true, so whatever. Maybe it's even a good thing - it'll give me time to work on figuring out how to inject sexual tension into the conversation.

Finally getting cable and buying a big TV tomorrow - I won't watch it much, but it gives a plausible reason to invite someone over to my apartment. Without a TV we could sit and stare at the wall, or stand in the kitchen, or just head straight to the bedroom.  That one's OK with me, but I'm thinking it's something we need to segue into.  But what a sad commentary on modern life, that we don't know what to do with ourselves without a TV blaring.


Nothing too exciting - last night was OK, but I sort of doubt we'll get together again. On the plus side, she paid for half of it (I'm old-fashioned enough that I feel like I ought to pay, but poor enough to let her pitch in if she offers), and the restaurant screwed up in splitting the bill, so a $42 check only cost me $15.  Hers was only $15 too - no idea where the other $12 disappeared to!

I've got another date for tomorrow night - we'll see how that goes. At least this girl lives closer, so it seems more practical right off the bat, and I'll be on my home turf restaurant-wise.  I think the people at the restaurant are starting to wonder what's going on - every week or two I'm there with a different girl!

Oh, and the girl from the meetup thing is going to another meetup I signed up for this Friday, so I'll see her again. Hopefully the music won't be so loud that we can't talk (wishful thinking - it's as if the purpose of live music is to make sure no one can communicate).

Something did occur to me: in the case of the XGF, we had messaged each other back and forth for hours at a time, days before actually meeting, and some of those got rather sexual - so I had already told her she was on my "to do" list (and she said I was on hers) before we even met. Maybe that's why we were kissing within 20 minutes of meeting face-to-face (or maybe just because she likes kissing so much). Anyway, seems like an important lesson in there - if she's already thinking sex before we even meet, that smooths things out a lot.  Now I just have to figure out how to turn other text exchanges sexual without seeming like a creep. In the case of the XGF it just sort of fell out of some other witty banter (oh how I flatter myself!), but I don't think the way we got there is a good general-purpose approach. I need to think about that one, and maybe see if I can try that again on (before) a future first date.


Still too damn cold - I hate winter. The only good thing about winter is that it means I'm one year closer to moving to Florida. Not that I have any idea when that might be, but whenever it is, I'm a year closer to it every year.

My hand started turning strange colors yesterday - the backs of my fingers are almost green-ish looking from the hand down to past the first knuckle. I went to a meetup thing last night, and met a couple of interesting women - and one of them noticed my hand so that gave me a nice conversation-starter.  Grip strength is better - I can hold a glass now - but I don't think I'm going rock climbing this week!

Time to get ready for tonight's date. I wish it wasn't so cold outside (but at least it'll be warm in the shower!).  Everyone has to bundle up so much that you can hardly see what anyone looks like. And no matter how much they turn the heat up, restaurants are always cold because people are always opening the doors to come in or go out.


It's cold today - I hate winter (more every year), and I can hardly wait for spring. 

My hand is getting better - still no grip strength, but the range of motion is better: I can straighten my fingers out completely, and I can touch my palm with them. I couldn't do either one yesterday, so that's progress. Also, the swelling is way down - I can see the bones in the back of my hand, instead of this swollen blob.

Oh, and I actually got a response from the XGF after telling her it was over.  She agrees that we shouldn't see each other again, and says it's partially because of the text exchanges - but also because she didn't think there was much chemistry even though we had a great time together (her words, not mine).  It's an interesting distinction to draw.  I guess she wants it all (and there's no reason she shouldn't) - but if you had to settle for one or the other, would it be better to have a great time but no chemistry (whatever the hell "chemistry" is), or lots of chemistry but not have a good time together? Or are they both deal-breakers - if a relationship fails either test, you have to drop it and keep looking?


Kind of a boring day overall (let's be honest, it's Friday night and I'm sitting at home alone, drinking and rambling on EP). The only big news is that I finally got tired of waiting and hoping for my XGF to want to get back together, so I told her it was over.  99.999% sure it was already over, but it's nice not to be hanging into a hopeless sort of "hope" any more.  Oh hell, who am I trying to fool - I still hope we get back together somehow, even though I know it'll never happen.  

I really need to move on. I've got a date lined up for Sunday evening, but I don't have high expectations - she lives too far away and I don't think she's really my type. Then again, I was pretty sure the XGF mentioned above wasn't my type, and I was wrong about that, so who knows.

On the plus side, I got a message on OKC out of the blue from some woman in NC (I'm in GA) who just wanted to say "hi" and tell me she thought I was cute. That's a nice ego boost!

Oh, and my hand is getting a little better - it's still swollen freakishly, but I've got better range of motion with my fingers and it doesn't hurt as much. It'll be a long time before I forget how stupid it is to punch a solid door!

1-12 of 12 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Tuesday, posted February 26th, 2013
Monday, posted February 26th, 2013
Sunday, posted February 26th, 2013
Saturday, posted February 23rd, 2013
Friday (late post), posted February 23rd, 2013
Thursday, posted February 21st, 2013
Wednesday, posted February 20th, 2013
Tuesday, posted February 19th, 2013
Monday, posted February 18th, 2013
Sunday, posted February 17th, 2013
Saturday, posted February 16th, 2013
Friday, posted February 15th, 2013

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